Life Transitions Therapy in New Jersey
Colleen Makowsky offers self-esteem and life transitions therapy for adults across New Jersey — practical, evidence-based, by secure video.
Self-esteem and life transitions therapy at Colleen Makowsky LPC focuses on building confidence and exploring new possibilities as one rebuilds — after a major change, a loss of self, or redirecting a gradual shift that happened over time.
Self-esteem and life-transitions counseling in New Jersey
Self-esteem erodes slowly — through career detours, relationship endings, role losses, comparison cycles, and decades of being judged by someone else’s metric. Life transitions are similar: usually triggered by a single event, leading to, “I don’t know who I am anymore.”
Identity questions, emerging adult concerns
Who am I outside of what my family expected? What do I actually want? Emerging-adult identity work is critical as this is an important passage of time with many decisions, counseling — ACT and values-clarification work can be used to help clients transition to adulthood.
Career pivots
Career change. Returning to work after caregiving. Career pivots aren’t just professional decisions — they’re identity decisions. We explore the values underneath the changes, and the logistics.
Relationship transitions
Ending a long term relationship. Engagement after years of being single. The slow erosion of a partnership and feeling stuck. Relationship transitions are difficult. We explore who you are as your relationship changes.
Parenthood transitions
Becoming a parent. Adult children moving out. The first year of solo-parenting after divorce. Parenthood transitions are hard — the role you knew yourself in is shifting.
Empty nest
The kids are grown. The house is quiet. The “what is my purpose” question highlights the loss of being needed. We work on designing the next chapter — not just filling the void.
Divorce and post-divorce identity work
The legal part is complete. The hard part — figuring out who you are now — begins. Single-after-decades can feel lonely and overwhelming. Exploring these identity changes in therapy can help you rebuild better and stronger.
Loss of role
The promotion didn’t happen. Retirement is here. The identity that was tied to a title or a function disappears. Role-loss grief is acknowledged and therapy can help rebuild a sense of purpose.
Aging-related life shifts
Your body is changing. Your parents need more care. You begin to realize your finite time on earth. Mid-life aging shifts can trigger anxiety and depression — we focus on ways to live with deeper intension and greater alignment with who you are, want to be.
Evidence-based self-esteem and life transitions work in New Jersey
Self-esteem and life-transitions counseling at this practice is grounded in three evidence-based approaches — Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) as primary, Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) for next-step focus, and Motivational Interviewing (MI) for the ambivalent moments. The work is practical: you leave each session with something to try, not just an insight.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
ACT is values-based work — what do you actually want this part of your life to be about, separate from what you “should” want, separate from comparison cycles, separate from old roles you’ve outgrown? Most identity work is values focused. ACT helps clients gain clarity.
Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT)
SFBT keeps the work future-oriented. Instead of relitigating every past decision, we look at what’s working, what could work next month, and what the next concrete step looks like. Useful when clients feel stuck and overwhelmed.
Motivational Interviewing (MI)
MI addresses ambivalence — and life-transitions need careful consideration. Do I take the new job or stay safe? Do I have the conversation or keep silent. MI helps validate and resolve feelings of ambivalence while supporting client autonomy.
Self-esteem is strengthened by clarifying one’s values — and acting on them. I offer values-based work and the targeted support to live it.
Self-esteem and life transitions work in action
You clarify what you want, and who you want to be, separate from comparison cycles and past roles. I support you on your journey.
ACT is the evidence base for values-based identity work
ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) has decades of clinical data behind it — particularly for adults working through identity questions, transitions, and “what is my purpose” moments. It’s not affirmation work. It’s values-clarification work — critical for healthy self-esteem and stability.
Self-esteem is strengthened by clarifying values and acting on them.
A brief note on self-esteem and depression
Self-esteem struggles and depression often look similar from the outside. There’s a difference between “I don’t know who I am right now” and clinical depression — the first responds well to values-work; the second responds well to CBT and behavioral activation.
Identity work and depression work sometimes overlap. We start by addressing the most pressing symptoms, and then widen the scope.
SFBT and MI alongside ACT
ACT addresses values-clarification. SFBT keeps the next-step focus. MI handles the ambivalent moments — the “should I stay” loops, the “should I leave” loops, the stuck periods. Three modalities, complementary, all evidence-based.
Good therapy is practical. You should leave each session with something you can use — not just insight that stays in the room.
How we start — your first three steps
Reach out
Open the secure intake form or call (917) 519-8447. It takes about a minute, and we’ll set up your free 15-minute consultation from there.
15-minute call (free)
We get on the phone for fifteen minutes. You tell me what’s bringing you in — the life transition, the identity questions you’re sitting with. I tell you how I can help. No charge. No pressure.
First session, then ongoing work
Sessions run 38 to 53 minutes, by secure video, weekly. Therapy typically spans three to twelve months — it varies by individual. You should notice change in the first 3-4 sessions.
WHAT A SESSION LOOKS LIKE
What a self-esteem and life transitions session looks like
Practical sessions, by secure video. Here’s what we cover — and what you leave with.
What’s underneath self-judgment
Self-esteem struggles rarely sit alone. Underneath there’s usually family-of-origin messaging, comparison cycles, lost roles, or life transitions that were not acknowledged. We process the layers — both the identity work and what’s underneath — at your pace.
Family-of-origin messaging
That voice in your head when you judge yourself. Most adult self-esteem patterns started young — comparison messaging, conditional approval, success-defined-as-output. We acknowledge the voice and decide what to do with it.
Comparison cycles
Social media, peer scorecards, the LinkedIn-update spiral. Comparison is structurally engineered into adult life in ways it wasn’t fifteen years ago. ACT helps clarify what you want — separate from what the comparison cycle keeps suggesting.
Loss of an identity-defining role
Career, parenthood, partnership, athletics, location. When an identity-defining role ends or shifts, the loss often goes unacknowledged. We acknowledge the loss and process the feelings around it.
Life-transitions as trauma-informed work
Big transitions can be trauma-inducing — particularly when they involve loss, sudden change, or relational rupture. Trauma-informed care addresses the trauma as a result of the loss/life-transition. We work at your pace and resolve the trauma while rebuilding.
When to reach out for self-esteem or life-transitions counseling
Most people wait too long. Below are some signs that indicate intrusive self-judgment or a difficult life-transition is keeping you down. Counseling can help.
Challenges are opportunities for growth.
Colleen Makowsky offers self-esteem and life-transitions counseling across New Jersey
Colleen Makowsky
MA · LPC · NCC · CCTP · CAIMHP
Licensed counselor in Fort Lee, NJ. Adults across all of New Jersey by secure video.
MA in Community Counseling, Montclair State University. Trauma-informed (CCTP) — values-based and practical.
ACT · Solution-Focused Brief Therapy · Motivational Interviewing for identity work and transitions.
OUR LOCATION
Online self-esteem and life-transitions counseling across New Jersey
I’m a service-area provider — I work with adults statewide by secure video. My base is Fort Lee, NJ (Bergen County), but you can see me from anywhere in New Jersey.
Hours
By appointment
Weekdays and weekends
Morning, afternoon, evening
Phone
(917) 519-8447
EXPLORE OTHER SERVICES
Types of therapy
Depression Therapy · Anxiety Therapy · Grief & Loss Counseling · Anger & Emotion Regulation · Individual Therapy
If low mood or low energy persists, see depression therapy in New Jersey.
Common questions about self-esteem and life-transitions counseling
When is it just a tough season versus depression?
There’s real overlap. Self-esteem struggles, identity confusion, and life-transition overwhelm can look a lot like clinical depression from the outside — and sometimes they’re co-occurring. What I can say is: if low mood, low energy, lost interest in things that used to matter, sleep changes, or appetite changes have been steady for more than a couple of weeks, depression is likely part of what’s going on. We figure that out together. If depression is the main symptom, visit the depression therapy page for more information.
What’s ACT and why is it your primary modality for this?
ACT, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, is values-based work. Instead of trying to fix self-esteem with affirmations or analyze it through years of childhood, we clarify what you actually want this part of your life to be about, and we work on acting in that direction. It holds up across transitions because it’s anchored in values, not in a current circumstance.
Do you work with people going through big life transitions like divorce or career pivots?
Yes — many of my clients are working through life-transitions. Divorce, career change, empty nest, big moves, retirement, post-injury identity shifts. Transitions tend to surface identity questions that have been quietly brewing.
Do you work with people in their 20s?
Yes — I work with emerging-adults, roughly 18 to early 30s, going through the process of self identity, independence, and decision-making for a good life. ACT and SFBT fit particularly well at this stage.
What does insurance cover?
I accept Aetna, Cigna/Evernorth, Optum/UnitedHealthcare/Oxford, Horizon Blue Cross Blue Shield of New Jersey, Oscar, and Medicare. Medicaid is not accepted. Out-of-network billing is available — superbill on request. For details, see insurance and cost.
How long are sessions and how long does counseling take?
Sessions run 38 to 53 minutes, occasionally 60 minutes if needed, online by secure video. Most clients work with me 3 to 12 months — but that varies by client.
What happens on the free 15-minute consultation?
You tell me what’s bringing you in. I ask a few questions about what you’re experiencing. I tell you how I can help. No charge. No pressure.
Is this couples counseling or marriage counseling?
No — this page is individual work on self-esteem and life transitions. If a relationship transition is present, individual work alongside couples work is often recommended. See couples therapy or marriage counseling for more information.
RELATED SPECIALTIES
Depression Therapy in NJ · Grief & Loss Counseling in NJ · Anger & Emotion Regulation in NJ
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