Grief Counseling in New Jersey
Colleen Makowsky offers grief counseling for adults across New Jersey — practical, evidence-based, by secure video.
Grief counseling at Colleen Makowsky LPC holds space for loss that doesn’t follow a timeline — death, divorce, estrangement, or any ending that changed who you are. The work moves at your pace, not grief’s expected stages.
Colleen Makowsky offers grief counseling in New Jersey
Most people who are grieving are not looking to move on — they’re looking for a way to carry what happened without letting it taking over their life. Healing from a loss is not a straight path, there is no set expiration date, and people process sadness in completely different ways. Grief counseling is space to work through the loss, at your pace.
Bereavement — when someone has died
Recent or long-ago, sudden or expected, close family or formative friend. Grief that’s actively present years after the loss is not pathology — it’s grief. Sometimes the work is making space for it; sometimes it’s identifying where the grief has shifted. If bereavement has tipped into persistent low mood, visit the depression therapy page form more information.
Complicated grief — when grief persists and becomes amplified
Disabling intensity, intrusive yearning, avoidance of reminders that’s interfering with life, identity disruption around the loss. Often six months+ post-loss with no relief. SFBT can help clients get back into daily function, along with trauma-informed pacing if the loss was sudden or violent. Recognizing the pattern and active interventions can help— along with “more time.”
Anticipatory grief — grieving someone (or something) in advance
Terminal illness, dementia, declining parents, deteriorating health, slow goodbyes. The grief is here before the loss is final. ACT-interventions can help — holding two realities at once: this person (or this future) is still here, AND I’m already grieving. Both can be true. Both deserve room.
Non-death loss — divorce, identity loss, and role loss
Divorce or relationship ending, career loss or career pivot, geographic change, fertility loss or miscarriage, identity loss (post-illness, post-retirement, post-empty-nest), faith deconstruction. These are real types of grief that occur without a funeral. The lack of social validation exacerbates the symptoms.
Pet loss — a member of the family
Companion-animal loss can carry weight equivalent to a human loss, especially in adults whose primary attachment was animal-anchored. Colleen treats pet loss as losing a member of your family. You don’t need to justify it. The loss matters because the relationship mattered.
Three approaches to treat grief
There is not set timeline to heal from grief. The three approaches below explain Colleen’s approach to treating grief. Therapy offers a space to process grief in order to move through it, reduce symptoms, and find meaning.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
For the days when the grief is overwhelming-and life has to keep going. SFBT helps clients identify what feels manageable in the next 24 hours, the next week. Not avoiding the grief — just a way to stay functional while the grief settles. Especially useful for complicated grief and anticipatory grief windows.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
For making meaning when the loss is anticipatory. ACT works on holding two truths at once — the grief is present AND values-based action is still possible. Clarifying what you care most about, and taking small steps toward those values while the grief is with you.
Motivational Interviewing (MI)
For the ambivalence that is often alongside grief — wanting to engage with the loss AND wanting to look away, wanting to keep the connection AND wanting to function, wanting therapy AND wanting to skip the session today. MI helps clients work through ambivalence, and stages of grief (your order), setting their own pace.
Colleen uses evidence-based therapy to treat grief
Grief work needs a foundation. The three claims below describe how Colleen approaches grief — what the evidence actually says, what role the relationship plays, and where trauma-informed pacing applies.
Grief isn’t a disorder — but clients with grief sometimes need support
Current diagnostic framing distinguishes between typical bereavement (which can be lifelong, varying in intensity) and complicated or prolonged grief (which has identifiable patterns that respond to intervention). Colleen works with both. Clients experiencing typical grief respond to talk therapy and processing; clients with complicated grief respond to active interventions. All in a trauma -informed framework.
Grief is everything surrounding the loss.
Relationship is key when helping clients with grief
Research on grief therapy effectiveness is mixed precisely because outcomes depend more on the therapeutic relationship and the client’s readiness than on any specific protocol. Colleen uses therapeutic interventions — but the work is fundamentally relational.
In grief work, the relationship is the intervention.
Trauma-informed pacing applies — especially for sudden or traumatic loss
When the loss was sudden, violent, or traumatic, grief work overlaps with trauma work. Window-of-tolerance pacing, choice and control, and trauma-informed care create the framework. Some clients move between grief and trauma from session-to-session. Visit the trauma therapy page form more information.
Good therapy is practical. You should leave each session with something you can use — not just insight that stays in the room.
How we start — your first three steps
Reach out
Open the secure intake form or call (917) 519-8447. You don’t need to be ready to talk about the loss in detail when we start.
15-minute call (free)
We get on the phone/video for fifteen minutes. You tell me what’s bringing you in, I tell you how I can help — at whatever level feels comfortable. If now isn’t the right time, we pause. No charge. No pressure.
First session, then ongoing work
Sessions run 38 to 53 minutes, by secure video. You set the pace to process the grief. Typical timespan three to twelve months, varies widely. Grief work is individual.
WHAT A SESSION LOOKS LIKE
What a grief counseling session actually looks like
Paced sessions, by secure video. Here’s what a grief session actually looks like — and what you leave with.
About grief patterns
Grief patterns: family scripts, relational history, prior losses, and cultural framing all shape how grief is experienced. Recognizing the pattern doesn’t soften the loss — it opens the door for healing.
Family-of-origin grief scripts
How was loss handled in the home you grew up in. Stoicism. Avoidance. Performance. Religious framing. The script learned in childhood often shapes which losses are acknowledged and which are minimized — including, often, your own.
Prior losses accumulated
Sometimes grief more intense than expected because it sits on top of prior unprocessed losses. The current loss is the entry point; the prior losses are churning. If the current grief feels disproportionate, often it is combined with layered grief. We work with present grief and past grief.
Loss that has been minimized by people around you
Pet loss, miscarriage, non-death loss, queer-partnership loss without legal recognition, estranged-family loss. Grief without social validation feels lonely. Therapy can help validate this type of grief when feeling abandoned.
Loss that was traumatic, not just sad
Sudden, violent, or unexpected losses sometimes need trauma-informed care alongside grief work. Colleen is trained in trauma-informed care and can help clients recover from traumatic loss.
It might be time to reach out if…
There’s no “right time” for grief counseling — only your time. The signs that indicate counseling can help usually look like this.
If you experience two or three of these scenarios, schedule a 15-minute consultation to see if Colleen can help.
Colleen Makowsky offers grief counseling across New Jersey
Colleen Makowsky
MA · LPC · NCC · CCTP · CAIMHP
Licensed counselor in Fort Lee, NJ. Adults and couples across all of New Jersey by secure video.
MA in Community Counseling, Montclair State University.
Trauma-informed (CCTP) · SFBT · ACT · MI for grief and loss work.
OUR LOCATION
Online counseling across New Jersey
I’m a service-area provider — I work with adults and couples statewide by secure video. My base is Fort Lee, NJ (Bergen County), but you can see me from anywhere in New Jersey.
Hours
By appointment
Weekdays and weekends
Morning, afternoon, evening
Phone
(917) 519-8447
EXPLORE OTHER SERVICES
Types of therapy
Depression Therapy · Trauma Therapy · Self-Esteem & Life Transitions · Anxiety Therapy · Individual Therapy
Grief & loss counseling FAQ
What does insurance cover?
Colleen accepts Aetna, Cigna/Evernorth, Optum/UnitedHealthcare/Oxford, Horizon BCBS NJ, Oscar, Medicare, and most EAPs. Out-of-network superbill available on request. Medicaid is not accepted. See the insurance and cost page for carrier-by-carrier specifics.
How long are sessions?
Sessions run 38 to 53 minutes, occasionally 60 minutes if needed.
How long does grief counseling take?
Three to twelve months is the typical timespan, but grief work is the most variable presentation Colleen sees, and individuals vary in therapy needs.
Is my loss “bad enough” to come to therapy?
That’s not a question Colleen asks. If the loss is negatively affecting your days, then the loss needs to be addressed. Pet loss, miscarriage, divorce, non-death losses, anticipatory loss — it’s all difficult. You don’t need to justify your grief to get support.
What if it’s been a long time since the loss?
Grief doesn’t have an expiration date. Sometimes clients come to therapy years after the loss — when something else triggers it, when you’ve reached your emotional limit, when the social permission window has closed and you’re still carrying the grief. Long-ago losses still respond to grief work.
I’m anticipating a loss — can therapy help before it happens?
Yes. Anticipatory grief can take a toll — the loss-in-progress of a terminal illness, dementia, declining parent, or deteriorating relationship. Two realities exist at once: the loss isn’t final yet, AND you’re already grieving. ACT-treatment modality helps with acceptance and controlling what you can.
What if my grief has become worse, not better, over time?
That can be a signal of complicated grief — a recognizable pattern with disabling intensity, intrusive yearning, or interference with daily life six months or more post-loss. It responds to active intervention.
RELATED SPECIALTIES
Depression Therapy in NJ · Trauma Therapy in NJ · Self-Esteem & Life Transitions in NJ
READY TO START?
Schedule your free 15-minute consultation
Grief doesn’t need to be at a certain intensity to deserve support. The 15-minute call is for figuring out whether now is the right time — for you, for your loss, for now.