Grief & Loss Counseling in New Jersey
Colleen Makowsky, LPC offers grief and loss counseling for adults across New Jersey — bereavement, anticipatory grief, complicated grief, and non-death losses that still grieve.
Grief doesn’t follow a tidy timeline. It doesn’t always come from death. And it doesn’t always go where you expect. The work is grounded — giving the loss its weight, finding language for it, and figuring out what living-with-it looks like. Online, NJ statewide. Adults only.
Colleen Makowsky offers grief counseling in New Jersey for how loss actually shows up
Most couples who reach out aren’t in a single big crisis. They’re in a slow accumulation — small disagreements that didn’t resolve, communication patterns that became defaults, distance that crept in without anyone naming it. Marriage counseling is for naming that out loud, in a room where both people get heard.
Bereavement — when someone has died
Recent or longer-ago, sudden or expected, close family or formative friend. Grief that’s actively present years after the loss is not pathology — it’s grief. Sometimes the work is making space for it; sometimes it’s naming where the grief has shifted what’s possible. If bereavement has tipped into persistent low mood, the depression therapy page goes deeper on that side.
Complicated grief — when grief has gotten stuck or amplified
Disabling intensity, intrusive yearning, avoidance of reminders that’s interfering with life, identity disruption around the loss. Often six months+ post-loss with no shift. SFBT framing for daily function + trauma-informed pacing if the loss was sudden or violent. This is a recognized clinical pattern that responds to active intervention — not just “more time.”
Anticipatory grief — grieving someone (or something) that hasn’t fully gone
Terminal illness, dementia, declining parents, deteriorating health, slow goodbyes. The grief is real before the loss is final. ACT-leaning work fits here — holding two realities at once: this person (or this future) isn’t gone yet, AND I’m already grieving. Both can be true. Both deserve room.
Non-death loss — what divorce, identity loss, and role loss grieve
Divorce or relationship ending, career loss or career pivot, geographic dislocation, fertility loss or miscarriage, identity loss (post-illness, post-retirement, post-empty-nest), faith deconstruction. These are real grief — even when no funeral marks them. The lack of social validation often makes them grieve harder, not less.
Pet loss — when the loss is real and the world minimizes it
Companion-animal loss can carry weight equivalent to a human loss, especially in adults whose primary attachment was animal-anchored. Colleen treats this as the legitimate grief it is. You don’t need to justify the size of it. The loss matters because the relationship mattered.
Three approaches Colleen uses for grief work
Grief work isn’t a protocol — it’s presence with method. The three approaches below give the work shape without forcing a timeline. Modality emphasis is lighter here than on anxiety or depression pages because grief is more presence than protocol — and that’s clinically correct.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
For the days when the grief is too big to address head-on but life still has to keep moving. SFBT maps what feels manageable in the next 24 hours, the next week. Not a way around the grief — a way to stay functional while the grief does what it needs to do. Especially useful for complicated grief and anticipatory grief windows.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
For making meaning when the loss has shifted what’s possible. ACT works on holding two truths at once — the grief is real AND values-based action is still possible. Naming what you still care about (without forcing “moving on”), and taking small steps toward those values while the grief stays with you.
Motivational Interviewing (MI)
For the ambivalence that often shows up in grief — wanting to engage with the loss AND wanting to look away, wanting to keep the connection AND wanting to function, wanting therapy AND wanting to skip the session today. MI works with that ambivalence rather than pushing past it. Allows the client to set the pace.
Colleen’s grief work is grounded in evidence — and in respect for the grief itself
Grief work needs a foundation. The three claims below describe how Colleen approaches grief — what the evidence actually says, what role the relationship plays, and where trauma-informed pacing applies.
Grief isn’t a disorder — but it sometimes needs support
Current diagnostic framing distinguishes between normal bereavement (which can be lifelong, varying in intensity) and complicated or prolonged grief (which has identifiable patterns that respond to intervention). Colleen works with both. Normal grief gets witnessing; complicated grief gets active intervention. Neither is rushed.
Grief that’s still present years later isn’t pathology. It’s love that doesn’t have an address anymore.
Modality matters less in grief work than presence does
Research on grief therapy effectiveness is mixed precisely because outcomes depend more on the therapeutic relationship and the client’s readiness than on any specific protocol. Colleen brings method — but the work is fundamentally relational. Method serves presence, not the reverse.
In grief work, the relationship is the intervention. Method is just how we keep our footing.
Trauma-informed pacing applies — especially for sudden or traumatic loss
When the loss was sudden, violent, or traumatic, grief work overlaps with trauma work. Window-of-tolerance pacing, choice and control, and the CCTP frame all apply. Some clients move between grief and trauma framings session-to-session. The trauma therapy page goes deeper on that side.
Good therapy is practical. You should leave each session with something you can use — not just insight that stays in the room.
How we start — your first three steps
Reach out
Send a quick note through the contact form or call (551) 305-3742. You don’t need to be ready to talk about the loss in detail to start. Two fields: name and best way to reach you.
15-minute call (free)
We get on the phone for fifteen minutes. You tell me what’s bringing you in — at whatever level feels possible. If now isn’t the right time, that’s a useful answer too. No charge. No pressure either way.
First session, then ongoing work
Sessions run 38 to 53 minutes, by secure video. Grief work is paced — sometimes weekly, sometimes every other week, sometimes a longer arc with check-in spacing. Typical frame three to twelve months, varies widely. Grief sets its own timeline.
WHAT A SESSION LOOKS LIKE
What a grief counseling session actually looks like
Paced sessions, by secure video. Here’s what a grief session actually looks like — and what you leave with.
Colleen’s view of where grief patterns often come from
Grief patterns aren’t fully chosen. Family scripts, relational history, prior losses, and cultural framing all shape how grief lands and how it moves. Naming the pattern doesn’t soften the loss — but it gives the work somewhere to stand.
Family-of-origin grief scripts
What got modeled about loss in the home you grew up in. Stoicism. Avoidance. Performance. Religious framing. The script learned in childhood often shapes which losses get acknowledged and which get minimized — including, often, your own.
Prior losses stacked under this one
Sometimes the grief that’s louder than expected is loud because it sits on top of prior unprocessed losses. The current loss is the entry point; the older losses are doing some of the volume. Working with the layered grief is part of why the current one feels disproportionate.
Loss that has been minimized by people around you
Pet loss, miscarriage, non-death loss, queer-partnership loss without legal recognition, estranged-family loss. Grief without social validation often grieves harder, not less. The work makes the grief legitimate even when the people around it didn’t.
Loss that was traumatic, not just sad
Sudden, violent, or unexpected losses sometimes need trauma-informed pacing alongside grief work. If the loss was traumatic, the trauma therapy page goes deeper on that side. The CCTP credential gives Colleen the chops to hold both.
It might be time to reach out if…
There’s no “right time” for grief counseling — only your time. The signs you might be ready to bring someone outside it into the work usually look like this.
If even one of these is landing, the 15-minute call is for figuring out whether now is the right time. Sometimes it is. Sometimes later is. Both are okay.
Colleen Makowsky offers grief counseling across New Jersey
Colleen Makowsky
MA · LPC · NCC · CCTP · CAIMHP
Licensed counselor in Fort Lee, NJ. Adults and couples across all of New Jersey by secure video.
MA in Community Counseling, Montclair State University.
Trauma-informed (CCTP) · SFBT · ACT · MI for grief and loss work.
OUR LOCATION
Online counseling across New Jersey
I’m a service-area provider — I work with adults and couples statewide by secure video. My base is Fort Lee, NJ (Bergen County), but you can see me from anywhere in New Jersey.
Hours
Mon–Fri by appointment
Sat & Sun: Closed
Phone
(551) 305-3742
EXPLORE OTHER SERVICES
Other ways Colleen works
Depression Therapy · Trauma Therapy · Self-Esteem & Life Transitions · Anxiety Therapy · Individual Therapy
Grief & loss counseling FAQ
What does insurance cover?
Colleen accepts Aetna, Cigna/Evernorth, Optum/UnitedHealthcare/Oxford, Horizon BCBS NJ, Oscar, Medicare, and most EAPs. Out-of-network superbill available on request. Medicaid is not accepted. See the insurance and cost page for carrier-by-carrier specifics.
How long are sessions?
Sessions run 38 to 53 minutes. Cadence in grief work varies more than in other presentations — sometimes weekly, sometimes every other week, sometimes a longer arc with spaced check-ins. We figure out the pacing together based on what your grief needs.
How long does grief counseling take?
Three to twelve months is the typical frame, but grief work is the most variable presentation Colleen sees. Some clients land in four months with what they needed. Others stay in longer arcs with reduced cadence. Colleen doesn’t quote session counts — grief sets its own timeline.
Is the loss “bad enough” to come to therapy for?
That’s not a question Colleen asks. If the loss is shaping your days, the loss matters in the work. Pet loss, miscarriage, divorce, non-death losses, ambiguous losses — all real. You don’t need to justify the size of the grief to start.
What if it’s been a long time since the loss?
Grief doesn’t have an expiration date. Sometimes the work happens years after the loss — when something else triggers it, when capacity finally allows, when the social permission window has closed and you’re still carrying it. Long-ago losses still respond to grief work.
I’m anticipating a loss — can therapy help before it happens?
Yes. Anticipatory grief is real grief — the loss-in-progress of a terminal illness, dementia, declining parent, or deteriorating relationship. The work is on holding two realities at once: the loss isn’t final yet, AND you’re already grieving. ACT-leaning work fits here.
What if my grief has gotten worse, not better, over time?
That can be a signal of complicated grief — a recognizable pattern with disabling intensity, intrusive yearning, or interference with daily life six months or more post-loss. It responds to active intervention. The 15-minute call is for figuring out whether what’s happening fits this pattern.
RELATED SPECIALTIES
Depression Therapy in NJ · Trauma Therapy in NJ · Self-Esteem & Life Transitions in NJ
READY TO START?
Schedule your free 15-minute consultation
Grief doesn’t need to be at a certain volume to deserve support. The 15-minute call is for figuring out whether now is the right time — for you, for your loss, for now.